Yvette Cooper slashing immigration is as likely as Angela Rayner winning Mastermind

Surely no one can believe Labour's latest smoke and mirrors promise to crack down on immigration? Reducing immigration just isn't in its DNA. If Keir Starmer was serious about coming down hard on immigration numbers, why would he have made Yvette Cooper the Home Secretary? Only a fleeting search is needed to see her proudly clutching a "refugees welcome" sign, alongside Sir Sadiq Khan and Caroline Lucas of the Greens.

I have as much faith in Yvette Cooper reducing immigration as I have in Angela Rayner winning Mastermind. Starmer's biggest mistake - in a strong field - has been cancelling the Rwanda scheme. After huge wranglings with the courts, this was a policy the National Crime Agency described as a deterrent, and was starting to work.

We were seeing dinghies from France starting to head to Ireland and other countries. And without Rwanda - or deportation to another third country - there is no way to remove any illegal immigrants who destroy their documents to hide their country of origin.

As a result of Starmer's clueless approach, illegal immigration has soared by 31% since the General Election, and up 35% since the start of the year.

Levels of overall immigration will come down, but only because of measures Rishi Sunak introduced which had not fed into the figures by election - including restrictions on dependants entering the country and the bilateral deals, like the one with Albania, to deport criminals.

Starmer's talk of "smashing the gangs" is cynical and empty, and Yvette Cooper's brand new Border Security, Asylum and Immigration Bill, which will be debated in the House of Commons at 5pm, will turn out to be equally hollow.

Her "five core principles" are a word salad of empty phrases, and the Bill itself a rehash of old ideas and contradictions. On the one hand it's demanding foreign workers need to be graduates, on the other that employers can recruit lower-skilled workers. This charade won't reduce immigration without big changes to the benefits system - something unlikely to happen under Labour.

To add insult to injury, Labour will be creating another new quango - the Labour Market Evidence Group (LMEG) to decide if firms need more lower skilled foreign workers. Is there any problem that Labour doesn't think an extra quango will solve?

Finally, Starmer says he'll create a new "common sense" legal framework to prevent illegal migrants and foreign criminals avoiding deportation by exploiting the European Convention Human Rights Article 8, which protects the right to a family life. This is the human rights lawyer who's always championed the ECHR and the Human Rights Act.

We all know this tough talk is simply to con people - especially in white working class areas - into voting Labour again after its local election drubbing.

The reality is that until this government develops a spine, takes the UK out of the ECHR and repeals the Human Rights Act (a law Labour introduced to cement the ECHR into British law), reinstates the Rwanda scheme, and radically clamps down on housing and benefits, I'm afraid immigrants will keep coming to the UK in their droves.